RHOP In Aspen: Unhappy Wives Spend Most

The $1,000 Hat on RHOP: Why Stacy Was Right, Monique Was “Rich,” and Why Unhappy Wives Always Spend the Most

I was watching the Real Housewives of Potomac trip to Aspen last night, and honestly, I had to pause the TV.

You know the scene. The ladies are at Kimo Sabe, that famous custom hat shop where a “souvenir” costs as much as a mortgage payment. They were going around the circle, announcing how much they spent like it was a badge of honor. “$2,000!” “$4,000!” It was gross. It was tacky. It was everything people hate about “new money.”

But then, Stacy Rusch said something that made me stand up and clap.

She flat out refused to play the game. She said, essentially: “I don’t just spend money. I keep my money together.”

Kudos, Stacy. That is exactly how I live my life. I can make a dollar stretch until it screams, or I can pull together a million-dollar look on a shoestring budget. That isn’t being “cheap”; that is being smart. Wealth isn’t about what you spend; it’s about what you keep.

The “Monique” Narrative: Spending to Fill the Void

But there was another comment floating around the episode—a comparison to Monique Samuels.

Someone mentioned that Monique has “changed.” Back when she was married to Chris (and let’s be honest, we all saw that marriage was struggling), she spent money left and right. She was the picture of “I’m not just well off, I’m wealthy.” She bought the houses, the birds, the essential oils, the endless stuff.

Now? She seems grounded. She seems different. And that narrative hit me right in the chest.

It is a pattern I see constantly, not just on Bravo, but in real life. There is a direct correlation between how unhappy a woman is in her marriage and how often she swipes her credit card.

The Psychology of the “Senseless Shop”

I spoke to a few marriage counselor friends of mine about this, and the psychology is brutal. When a woman is in a marriage where she feels unseen, unheard, or emotionally starved, she doesn’t always leave. She shops.

Here is what is actually happening in the brain when you buy that $1,000 hat you don’t need:

1. The Dopamine Hit (The “joy for minutes”): You mentioned that spending gives you joy “for minutes.” That is scientifically accurate. The act of purchasing releases dopamine—the same chemical you get from sex or love. If your partner isn’t giving you that chemical release, you go buy it at Kimo Sabe. You are literally buying a substitute for affection.
2. The Control Mechanism: In an unhappy marriage, you often feel out of control. You can’t control your husband’s temper, his schedule, or his loyalty. But you can control what you buy. The transaction is the one place where you are the boss.
3. The “Revenge” Swipe: Let’s be real—sometimes, it’s punishment. If he’s not going to give you intimacy, you’re going to take his resources. It’s a subconscious transaction: “You hurt me, so I hurt your bank account.”

Loving this angle

Watching Monique back then, and watching some of these ladies now, I don’t see “wealth.” I see panic. I see women trying to fill a massive, cavernous emotional void with luxury goods.

Stacy’s comment was a breath of fresh air because it came from a place of security. She didn’t need the hat to feel valuable.

So, to my readers: Don’t let the Instagram flaunting fool you. Just because a woman is married to a wealthy man and shopping at Chanel every Tuesday doesn’t mean she’s winning. It usually means she’s lonely.

I’d rather have the $20 in my pocket and a happy heart than a $4,000 hat and a husband I can’t stand.

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Watch This: If you want to understand the shift in Monique’s mindset—from the “perfect” rich housewife to the woman who finally chose herself—this interview explains the “misery” behind the money perfectly.

Monique Samuels Talks Divorce, Departure from Love and Marriage DC & Finding Self-Worth +More

This video is relevant because Monique explicitly discusses the “misery” of her past marriage, confirming the theory that her previous lifestyle (and spending) was masking deep unhappiness.