It’s that time of year again—when every other guy on Instagram strips down to his Santa hat and flexes his six-pack for the world to see. You’ve seen it, I’ve seen it—half-naked men in the cold, wearing nothing but a jolly red hat, pretending to be Santa Claus.
But here’s the question that eats away at me: why should we women like this? What exactly do these men expect us to do when we see these photos? Should we swoon over their abs, throw our hands in the air and scream, “Take me, Santa!“? And what happens when Christmas is over and the abs hide away under a regular old sweater?
Let’s dive in.
Who in the world told these men that this is the kind of Christmas cheer we want? …
… last time I checked, Christmas meant warmth, generosity, and a sense of togetherness—not flexing your muscles in the cold while wearing a Santa hat. We want supposed to celebrate family, joy, and love, not… whatever this is. So, why exactly do they think we’d want to unwrap a man who wears more of a workout routine than actual holiday cheer?
It’s Cold On The North Pole, Is It Not? …
Let’s pause for a second and talk logistics. It’s Christmas. It’s cold. It’s practically snowing in every other country, and these guys prance around with their six-packs out, thinking they’re channeling some sort of ultra-cool Santa. But um, excuse me, have they heard of the North Pole? Where Santa actually lives? It’s not exactly the kind of place that says, “Let’s strip down to our undies and show off our abs while making toy deliveries.” If anything, it’s the place where you bundle up and wear three layers of wool to keep from freezing to death.
If you’re trying to play the Santa card, the least you could do is keep it realistic—maybe throw in a jacket, or, you know, some long sleeves? I’m just saying, the whole topless thing is a little counterintuitive, unless we’re talking about a tropical Christmas, which, let’s be real, is the opposite of what Santa Claus represents. So, either you’re misrepresenting the season or you’re freezing your six-packs off.
Here’s the thing that gets me …
… these men, with their chiseled abs on full display, clearly hope for a specific reaction. They want us to see them and think, Wow, that’s the guy I want under my tree. But seriously, what’s the expected response here? Should we instantly fall for a guy because his stomach muscles look like Michelangelo sculpted them? And if we don’t react the way they want—if we don’t comment “Wow!” or slide into their DMs—what happens? Do they get all upset because we didn’t fall for the ultimate Christmas charm of a guy who spent way too many hours at the gym instead of wrapping presents?
These men hope we’ll see their abs and think, This is it. This is the Christmas miracle. But honestly, what’s so sexy about a guy who thinks the height of his attractiveness lies in how many crunches he did that morning? Should we really believe that six-pack abs unlock the magic of the holiday season?
What’s sexy about a six-pack Santa? …
… I mean, isn’t it enough to be jolly, a little plump, and willing to deliver presents down chimneys? Apparently not. Apparently, in 2024, Christmas revolves around men who look like they spend more time in the gym than they do with their families, or at least it’s becoming a weird holiday trend. Don’t get me wrong: I’m all for a little self-love and body confidence, but something about men wearing nothing but a jolly red hat and a six-pack on display doesn’t sit right with me.
Here’s the thing …
… what happened to the magic of the season? When did Christmas shift from cozy, warm sweaters and festive dinners to abs and flexing? Are men really thinking that showing us their muscles will make them look like the perfect holiday gift?
Do these men in the holiday-themed photos actually think …
… they’re gifts? Is this their version of wrapping up in shiny paper and a bow tie? Because, honestly, if this is their idea of a present, I’d prefer the one with a bow that’s wrapped in mystery and intrigue, not one in full view with an unrealistic expectation of sex appeal attached to it.
I get it, they’re trying to show us that they care, right? But here’s the thing: If I wanted abs for Christmas, I’d ask Santa for a six-pack of my own, and trust me, I wouldn’t have to work nearly as hard to maintain it. This whole idea that men are ‘gifts’ feels a little too much for me, especially when they’re wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Do men honestly believe their bodies are presents we should unwrap?
What’s Left to Unwrap When You’re Half-Naked? …
But here’s the kicker: If you’re showing it all, what’s left to unpack? If you’re half-naked on Instagram, showing me what you’ve got under the Santa suit, then we’ve already fast-forwarded through the mystery.
Santa guys, I’ve unboxed you, and there’s no excuse for hiding behind abs and a Santa costume to get attention. Don’t make fools of yourselves—I don’t buy it. Be genuine, show real substance, and that’s what will truly impress any woman.
